He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just cropdusted the office
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
