Me. At least after what I've been through.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
