I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
