she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
