so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
