Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
