I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
COCAINE IS GR8
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
