So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
