I never want to see another naked old woman again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
