The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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