Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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