I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
