i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
