true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
