She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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