Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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