we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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