After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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