that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
