the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
