This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
