i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
