Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What a dumb baby whore.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
