I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My pussy is not your playground.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
