Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
