Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
