Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you still have your period?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
