They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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