I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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