We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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