I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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