she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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