mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
