Where did you get a picture of my penis
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
