i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
