Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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