If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
