im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
