sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize