he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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