I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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