At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
