STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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