I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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