So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She's the barista slut.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
