So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Houston, we have a blender
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
