I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
