Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
