Your mouth is God's brothel.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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