she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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