why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
