you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
