Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
