It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
