Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize