so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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