I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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