You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize