You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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