You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
